Family relationships are really complex, be it mother-daughter relation or father-son relationship. It sometimes so happens that the rapport between mother and daughter doesn’t go well. Sometimes it also happens that the father-son relationship also takes an ugly return. We all know that a father-son relationship is really complex, and it often turns haywire.
A son’s bond with father becomes difficult, especially when the fathers and sons lack common interests and likes. This, in turn, makes it tough for them to relate to each other. At the end of the day, in spite of wanting to show their love for each other, their male tendencies and egos might keep them apart. Here, then, the key issue becomes that they may find it hard to connect to each other.
But, after all, there is a solution to everything. There are certain ways that can help mend the bond between the father and the son.
How A Father-Son Bond Grows And Changes Over Time: –
There are certain reasons that how a son’s bond with father changes with time. They are: –
- Idolising-When boys are young, they idolize their father and think they can never be overcome or defeated.
- Discord- This stage occurs during the teenage years when they don’t want to be like their father. In this stage, there is also no similarity between the views of the father and son.
- Evolving-When boys attain young adulthood, they become competitive with their father and starts behaving indifferently.
- Acceptance-This period comes in the 30s and 40s when they again look up to their father and acknowledging him. From this stage onwards, the friendship between the father and son starts to evolve.
- The legacy-this stage comes in the 50s when the son starts recognizing that he is actually the mirror image of his father.
Ways To Strengthen Father And Son Relationship: –
If relationships are not taken seriously, then, as time gradually passes by, the relationships change. In the same way, a father-son relationship also changes and takes certain turns over time. Therefore, 8 effective ways to strengthen this relationship are: –
- Influence Them Positively-The first way to strengthen the father-son relationship is to influence the child positively. Many people do not recognize this, but boys, when they are kids only, always think of becoming a man, by looking at their father. Situations like when the son notices his father interacting with his mother, he learns how to respect (unfortunately in some cases disrespect too) women. From this, he also tries to learn how to deal with differences and conflicts.
- Develop Common Interests-Every relationship develops and progresses because of the fact that they tend to develop some common likes and interests of the other. Hence, every relationship gets stronger when they both have common things to talk and share. We must have always witnessed this that there are many cases where lack of common interests has become the main reason for discord between the father and son that they do not spend enough time with each other.
- Get Involved In Father-Son Activities-Another way which could come in handy when trying to strengthening the father-son relationship. Certain things, if done together, may help to build a strong bond between individuals. Dads should engage in different activities with their sons, like cooking together in the kitchen or boy scouting where you could help each other.
- A Little Boisterous Play-Almost all boys love to indulge in activities that are rough and active, especially when they are young. Fathers doing some activities like a little playful wrestling would really go a long way. Boys like a little bit of wild behaviour, which according to them, is a way of bonding. In the future, these activities also progress to skating, rock climbing, and ice hockey.
- Listen To Them-Generally, for men, it is difficult to engage in effective communication. Don’t be too eager to judge your son’s mistakes or try to fix the problem soon. Listening basically develops a sense of confidence in the person who is sharing something, and this, eventually makes the son believe that his father is with him in distress. For making listening to a positive thing from your son’s point of view, look for opportunities where you can listen to them, like going for a sporting event, fishing or a long road trip.
- Focus On The Positives-Boys, in their young age, tend to get more influenced by the negative things around them, than girls. There are negative messages all around your son, so, even when they watch a TV commercial, they feel inferior. Watching such commercials makes them think that they are not strong and they do not have six- pack abs. In such situations, the father should make the son understand the good and bad things, and focus on positives.
- Make One-On-One Time-If you, as a father, want the relationship with your son stronger, then try to make time for him. Hence, it will be totally your responsibility to think of ideas so that you can make time for him. With this he will come up with different ideas and your responsibility would be to create some good memories with him.
- Focus On Spirituality-Sons, looking up to this that their father is spiritually grounded will also encourage them to do the same. Here, basically, the utmost responsibility of the father would be to make his son understand the deeper meaning of life and believing his inner- self. Fathers can engage in meaningful conversations, calmly and naturally, with their son on topics like manhood, spiritual things and most importantly, life.
Therefore, maintaining distance with your child and being strict with them will do no good and they won’t change that way at all. It will further bring problems in the father-son relationship.