Development of strong love feelings in teenagers

love pampering, care, anger, fear, stubbornness, etc. due to the hormonal changes in their body. Out of all these emotions, love is the strongest and powerful force that attracts two souls towards each other.  It is wisely said that love is at its peak at the adolescent age. Also, there are many couples who fall in love with their teenage and then got married too.

The onslaught of feelings

Chances are that one day, your child or your sibling will come home from school, smitten. Maybe you’ll notice it from the way they behave, or maybe they will tell you so outrightly. This period of crushing on someone, being in love, and then possibly entering a relationship is very exciting but also stressful, to say the least. Self-doubt, lack of self-confidence and no positive support system definitely make matters worse than they need to be.

If the person they have these feelings for doesn’t fit what is expected from them, for example in terms of gender, it can lead to even more anxiety and stress. If the reaction they receive from the adults in their life is unsupportive, negative or even angry, it can bring about actions that they wouldn’t have taken otherwise.

What steps can you take as an adult?

The media that teens have consumed in the past few decades, be it in the form of books, movies, songs, or comics have always held a fascination with love, or at least the idea of it. As adults, it is very easy to say that what your teenaged sibling, cousin, or child is feeling is not loved, but simply the idea of it that they have gathered from the society around them.

But is this assumption fair? And more importantly, what does it even accomplish?

Teenagers, like people across all age groups, have the ability to feel love, to be in love. What that love means to them and how they express it is personal and unique. Adults should not rebuff a teenager who says they are in love. If there is a time when you feel like you know this particular love interest is not going to end well or is “just not right for them” – have patience. Do not try to exercise control here, unless of course there is a possibility of violence or abuse in any form.

When you are told about their love interest, you should also take an interest. What might seem silly to you, means the world to them?

Meet the teen where they are. They are in love and feeling an inexplicable range of emotions.

Think back to how you and your friends felt as teenagers. Though times are different and the problems teens’ today faces are wildly different, there may be some common ground to be found after all.

I say this because the journey of understanding and reciprocating love is the one that we all have to take ourselves in life. Their journey has just started and you should be glad you get to be a part of it. Though it may be painful to think that your teen is in for heartbreak, you have to have trust in two things:

1. The possibility of them navigating the situation with the best of their ability
2. The influence of your support and encouragement

What adults, who are supposed to know better, should do is support the teenager through this and offer advice and a listening ear – all in a way that respects their feelings.

Thus, now you know why it is not fair to belittle them and that however you feel, doing so serves no purpose. On the contrary, it may even push the teen away from you and make them hesitate the next time they have something to share.

Deciding on Rules and Boundaries

After you have accepted your child’s feelings for what they are and made them comfortable to talk to you about it, it is time for you both to decide certain things.

How much time can they spend together while also giving adequate time and energy on other aspects of their life?

What about going out or curfew timings, if any?

Apart from these, you should also talk to your children about boundaries, consent, and respect.

Too many teens, and later adults, have no healthy ideas about rejection, sex, and consent. Teach your kids, regardless of gender, about consent. And that rejection is not the end of the world.

You can proceed in the following manner, as devised by expert parents –

• that it has to be freely given and enthusiastic (and not under pressure)
• that it is reversible (just because their partner said yes the last time or a few minutes ago doesn’t mean they can’t say no now)
• that it has to be given in an informed manner
• That it is specific (in terms of what the sexual activity is etc.)

Deciding these and working them out as early as possible ensures a lot of stability and understanding between everyone involved. It helps make sure that your children are equipped with the knowledge and tools to make the right decisions and choice and be safe and free in this relationship as they deserve to be.

Final Words

Thus, parents and teachers need to join hands and work in coordination in order to provide basic knowledge about the meaning of love and how does it vary from the attraction. Also, teenagers need to understand that adolescent age is the most crucial age of their life and they must focus upon living it to the fullest keeping in mind the true importance of education in their lives. Teens should not fall prey to any kind of bad habit such as alcohol, smoking or drugs in case their relationship falls apart and doesn’t works out well.