Psychological Reasons Behind Kids Fighting

Mental health of kids must be taken utmost care of right from the early stage. Children simulate the behaviour and attitude of parents. When kids see parents fighting or arguing, it has an adverse effect on their emotions and psychology. Fighting in front of kids is a sign of bad parenting. They too develop uncooperative tendencies and learn to argue and fight. There are many other reasons why kids fight and argue. If their needs are unmet, if comparisons are drawn, and many other reasons why kids fight.

Avoid Fights In Front Of Kids

When you have young kids, sort your differences in a harmonious way and set an example for your children. They will learn to be peaceful and harmonious following your behaviour and footsteps. Everything you say and do has an effect on the psyche of your mind.

Do not exhibit violent tendencies in front of kids
Do not argue and shout in front of kids
Avoid fighting, name calling, and drama when kids are around
Do not use foul language or profanity in their presence
Set an example to create better interactions even when angry
Let them know how to handle differences with calmness
Fighting in front of kids creates emotional insecurity and makes them feel crushed from within.

When Their Needs Are Not Met

Teach cooperation to kids so they learn to be content with what they have
Give them rewards to do better and get what they desire for showing better behaviour
Let them know the importance of good values
Watch their ideologies and thinking since the early development stage
Evaluate the reasons for stress and address them right away

Bad Attitude

Check your kids for the attitudes they develop
Evaluate their friendships and look into what is influencing them
Treat them with love even if they make a mistake
Do not over pamper and spoil them as it leads to bad attitude
Do not be too lenient as they could continue with their bad behaviours
Encourage kids to express themselves and ensure they do not harbor suppressed anger

Hostility At Home

If either of the parents are hostile, it could have a bad impact on the child.
It could decrease their performance and brilliance.
They could be more depressed and take less interest in activities.
It hampers their interpersonal skills.
Their perspectives have a negative influence.
As they grow older, it becomes difficult for them to maintain harmonious relations with people.
They might find it difficult to adjust in school.
They could have poor social relations.
It could also affect their physical health and they could have problems sleeping, concentrating, and eating.
They develop a negative outlook towards life and relations.

Insulting Parents

If parents insult kids and be sarcastic, it could have a negative effect on the children.
The child feels abandoned and neglected.
They could also exhibit aggression and start fighting for even small things.
A few kids might exhibit withdrawal symptoms.
Parents must check their controlling tactics to rectify their children.
Name calling, insulting, and other destructive behaviours of parents could psychologically damage children and can have a lasting negative impact on them.

Divorcing Or Separated Parents

Ensure your kids that you will be there for them even if you get divorced or separated.
Watching parents fight bitterly can have a lasting negative impact on kids.
Divorcing parents must talk to kids openly and let them understand the situation and provide them assurance that their relation with kids will not be affected.
You have to assure them that your bond with them will be stronger regardless of separation and divorce.

Parents Using Children In Fights

Worst is using children to deliver negative messages to the other parents.
Involving children in your fights.
Negatively influencing them about the other parent.
Demeaning the other parent or insulting them in front of kids.
Ill treating the other parent in the presence of kids.
Using kids to gain sympathy during your fights or arguments.
Physical fights in front of kids are the worst.
Do not let your children listen to negative or uncomfortable feelings at a tender age.
They must always know that they are not responsible for conflicts between the parents.

Difference In Ideologies

Every kid has a different personality.
Difference in ideologies could lead to arguments and fights.
Parents must be proactive in handling these differences and resolving conflicts.
Make them understand and accept that everyone has different ideologies.
Give every child of yours the attention they need.
Teach them to be open to the other person’s point of view.

Discrimination

When the child experiences discrimination, it could lead to stress and angry outbursts.
Talk to your child regularly and see if they have any issues with anyone.
If they have faced discrimination at school or any other place, build their self-esteem.
Create a happy environment so that their negative experience does not linger.
Talk about hard and uncomfortable subjects like abuse, sex, etc, and welcome children to talk openly about taboo topics.
Teach kids how to make healthy comebacks when they get discriminated.

Criticism

Kids have a different level of sensitivity.
When you criticise kids or if they face harsh criticism elsewhere, they could either withdraw or become reactive.
Encourage them to open up about their negative experiences and let them have a heart to heart conversation about their feelings and emotions.
Let them know that you are emotionally available when they deal with harsh criticism to boost their morale and help them retain their confidence.
With your support, kids develop a better outlook and learn to handle differences with grace and dignity.

Disrespect For Child’s Choices

Kids need to be independent at some point of time.
Showing disrespect to their choices could lead to arguments and fights.
Understand their perspective and let them know what they choose is important.
Let them understand the consequences of their choices instead of disregarding them.
Give them freedom to make their own mistakes instead of controlling them.

Violent Exposure Through Media

Playing violent video games, watching violence can have an influence on their psyche.
Kids could simulate these behaviours because they think it makes them feel superior.
If their favourite actor acts violent, they too could mimic those behaviours.
Keep a watch on the video games they play and the content they watch.
Do not fight with your kids in any situation.
Teach them social responsibility and cooperation.
Expose them to better content that is constructive.

Controlling Behaviour

If the elder sibling or parent exhibits controlling behaviour, it leads to fights.
Check yourself if you have been too controlling for them to rebel to a fight.
Give them liberty to do what they like and avoid controlling them at every step.
Impulsive kids are prone to angry outbursts.
Deal with the temperamental kid peacefully and teach them anger management.

Annoying Behaviour

A few kids get a kick out of annoying the other kid.
Involve them in constructive activities to avoid futile fights.
If the kid is doing it out of boredom or with the intention to feel superior, rectify their behaviour.
Protect the other kid who is getting assaulted and repramaid the assaulting kid.
Set rules and guidelines so no intense fights occur.

Abuse

Evaluate the behaviour of children to see if they have been abused in any way.
If it is a serious problem like emotional, physical, or sexual abuse, you need to give the child extra care and attention.
Counselling too will help and always be their support.
Keep your child protected from the abuser even if it has been within or outside the family.
Address uncomfortable emotions and make the child feel safe.

Final Word

There are various reasons why kids develop fighting attitude. While fighting for the right reasons, such as, standing up for their rights assertively is beneficial, you must also check for negative attitudes or situations that lead to them. Parents must take care not to fight in front of children or involve them in their fights. By teaching your child how to resolve conflicts peacefully, there will be less fights and more peace.