Gender Neutral Parenting: Everything you should know

While growing up we all are raised with this thinking in the mind that blue is for a boy and pink is for a girl, right? However, the time has changed now. Though today some parents are opting to raise their child as gender neutral. Though it is an unconventional approach which is constantly under debate, still we should understand those old conventions develop into new, as and when the time changes.

What is Gender Neutral Parenting?

When parents try to raise their child without forcing any preconceived gender norms upon them is called Gender Neutral Parenting. In other words, this implies that the parents allow them to choose, or rather give them the right to decide which one they would rather adopt for the rest of their lives. This allows the child to grow up from breaking barriers of the same old conventional gender rules. It may also mean that boys wearing pink, or girls wearing blue, keep room decor and the type of toys their kids play with neutral and in general stay away from any kind of gender stereotyping.

Effects of Gender-Neutral Parenting on children: –

But there may be certain effects too on the children of this Gender-Neutral Parenting. The effects are: –

• IMPACT ON SOCIAL LIFE– Practising gender-neutral parenting strictly is virtually impossible if your child goes to playschool or daycare. But you should be concerned when they don’t like going out at all and prefer to stay at home most of the time. It may well be possible that gender-neutral children’s dress sense or playing style might attract awkward questions and eye sights from their classmates and may eventually end up being bullied or teased by other kids.
• IMPACT ON PLAYTIME– Gender neutral parenting should not affect their precious playtime as parents would typically encourage their kids to play with a wide variety of toys or let them choose themselves.
• IMPACT ON SEXUALITY– It has fewer effects on sexuality than you would think because some researches show that homosexuality can be more due to biology and genetics and less due to the environment.

Pros and cons of it: –

Raising a child from the perspective of gender-neutral parenting has its own share of pros and cons.

Pros-

• Gender neutral kids tend to be more creative towards their approach- Creativity can be practised by anyone and everyone. But gender-neutral parents are more likely to have this.
• They are also someone who can develop an inherent ability to develop great interests and hobbies. They try to break free from hobbies that are common to everyone.
• Being gender neutral will help your child understand the meaning of identity. Instead of comparing themselves with others, they will develop their own self-esteem.
• Such kids tend to be unbiased and neutral towards anyone and everyone. They won’t even practice stereotyping others in various situations.
• Children who are given freedom from the early stages of their lives are more likely to be confident and non-followers of others.

Cons-

Some dangers are: –

1. If the child is raised without the concept of proper gender, they will become confused about their identity when they attend school.
2. It will be challenging for parents to avoid all gender-specific pronouns at home like him or her, and she or he.
3. There is no way of avoiding gender in the child’s future, so giving them exposure early will help them decide who they are and what they want to become.
4. As parents, you need to be careful that you don’t slip put your child into another ‘type’. After all, they’re people, not ‘gender neutral children’.
5. You should not push the child into liking something forcefully. If a boy loves blue, let them be. And if a girl loves pink, let them be happy with that.

Ways to raise a gender-neutral child: –

Some ways are: –

• Reduce gender’s importance- Refrain from using the term gender neutral and help your kids be free of any gender restrictions. For example, you can simply say ‘What a smart kid you are!’, rather than ‘What a smart girl/boy you are!’. This simply means that you can remove labels on gender from your language.
• Encourage boys and girls to play together- In the growing years, it is necessary for children to be comfortable playing with the opposite gender. This, in turn, will make them ready for future relationships at work, at home and in school. Helping them develop this feeling at an early stage in life will remove any sort of shyness and low-esteem from them and they can be able to get more extrovert.
• Focus on your kid as an independent individual- Gender neutral parenting may cause confusion in the child’s brain, as to how to differentiate between different gender attributes. For this, it is essential to focus on your child as one human being, a single soul.
• Don’t eliminate gender entirely- As a parent, your entire goal and focus should not be to erase gender but to encourage your child to pursue all interests, careers, and hobbies. You have to make sure that their opportunities, choices, and interests are not restricted by gender. You can also try to emphasize on the fact that in today’s modern times, how irrelevant gender is in society.
• Avoid pink and blue themes- Look to it that while practising gender-neutral parenting you don’t focus much on the attribution of gender stereotypes. You should also keep any type of stressing with any differentiation between boys and girls at bay. Never ever try to associate pink with a girl and blue with a boy. This gradually can change their thinking and behaviour to adapt to different and effective norms early on.

Thus, the decision to raise a child by gender-neutral parenting should not be to make the child a symbol of social change but to give the child freedom to decide his own interests free from any gender limitations.