When we live in one home and work together at office, indulging in an argument is obvious. But how can we handle this argument in a mature way is big thing. One can also start arguing on the spot which looks really uncivilized and manner less. On the other hand, if you really want to sort out the conflict without any negative consequences you should always follow some rules which show that you are civilized human being and proves that you are mature enough to handle any conflict hassle free.
Read this article to get an overview of how you can handle conflicts in hassle free manner.
1. Sort in Privacy
Whenever you feel like there is going to be an argument, first find a place where you can talk in privacy. Never create a drama publically and do not become local entertainers in public. For example, if you are having argument in office, first find a separate place where you can talk and discuss anything. This way you and whosoever is/are involved in the conflict will get chance to speak and can express themselves more appropriately. It also avoids any other person to get involved in it.
2. Stay calm, think and control your anger
While having an argument never burst out and start shouting. Always talk as much as politely you can. Never use abusive words in argument to disrespect your opponent. Take a deep breath and always stay calm and think about your mistakes too. Also play your part according to how much you are involved in the argument. If you are directly involved in the argument then take forward steps and if your involvement is indirect, then let your chance come to express your views. Anger is the greatest enemy. Never cross your limit in anger and take any destructive action which will cost your heavy after everything is over and sorted. Everyone who is involved in the argument should get equal chances to express themselves, so let others also share their views.
3. Understand the situation
If things are getting out of hands, then you should leave the argument and relax for some time. If you have been trying really hard to resolve the conflict and have tried every way then you should leave the place immediately. Give yourself and the person some time to think about it. Argument can be due to many reasons. Maybe someone is just trying to burst out the stress of some other situation on you. So it’s better to realize that the situation is getting hard and you should leave.
4. Decide the medium
Never do the mistake of resolving the argument via mail, WhatsApp or through any other texting social media. You can never express yourself through text and this can also be misinterpreted by other party. You can never express your feelings and intensions digitally. Such texting social media only increase the argument make situation more tensed or worse.
Always try to convey tough talks through calls or talking face to face is the best solution. Direct conversation will firmly show your emotions, feelings, intensions and thoughts more appropriately to the person.
5. Talk confidently
If you want other party to take you seriously and hear you carefully, than you should always talk confidently. Look into their eyes and put your point in polite and calm voice. While conversation you should have a positive body language and use correct gestures to express yourself. Always show your true feeling and expression. If you think at some point it was your mistake too, accept it and tell them where they were wrong. Never try to manipulate other party to just win the argument because it will worsen the situation more.
6. Good listener
Argument is never done one sided, it always worse the situation. After you have expressed your feelings and intensions let other party also express themselves. Listen to them wisely and make them feel relaxed. Whatever is the argument and with whomsoever you are arguing whether at home or office, you have to make them feel comfortable. This is the basic strategy to calm them down and it also show that you are mature enough to understand them. Maybe you will try to understand their situation. This both the parties can understand why did that difficult situation occurred.
7. Extreme situation
If situation is very uncontrollable and it is getting more tensed and extreme, then you should involve a person who can act as mediator and understand both the parties. For example if you are having any argument with a family member and situation is getting worse then involve any elder and take advice from them or if the argument is in the office then take HR help to sort it out. But involving a third person may also worse the situation so choose a mature and sensible mediator always.
Sometime silence is the best medicine. When both the parties have shared their views, feelings and intensions let the silence fill the place. Give yourself and the other party some time to think the situation from each other’s perspective. But make sure that, there should not be totally awkward silence.
Some arguments don’t have any solution; one has to compromise. If it is in your hands and you can’t handle it any more you have to let it go for the sake of your relations. Act mature and be a sensible person. Never let ego come between the arguments. Follow the rule of “forgive and forget” and never hold a grudge after forgiving the person. Sometimes you can even make certain changes in your decision or in your personality so that relations get stronger.
10. Don’t conclude before time
Try to give time to the other party and listen carefully what they meant to say for example if your friend says he needs time or need space to think about the issue you should respect his/her views. You should not overthink and jump to the conclusion directly. Every person has their own intellectual and way of thinking, may be some space and time you give to them may help your relation and it may help in developing understanding with time and the relations will become stronger from earlier.
In this process you will also get some time to think about the issue and the mistakes you made earlier you can rectify it later. Do not judge someone from the mistakes they made earlier in their past and jump to a conclusion that they are always wrong.
Some Final Words
There are number of ways to manage any argument but one who manages them in mature way can sort any issue. Argument is obviously never one sided and both the parties should get equal chances to express themselves without increasing the argument. So being a good listener, solving things in privacy and a good medium via you are expressing yourself can solve things very easily. You can also compromise in some arguments if you think that you don’t want to lose relation due to any conflict but remember compromise in extreme situations only.